Visiting Mom

Very quick post to link to these pictures. I’ll beef up the post later. In the meantime, check out the pictures and read the captions.

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All right, here’s the promised update. Some actual information on the pictures. These are from August 2004, or something like that. Northwood was back from Iraq for a week or something, and I managed to visit Mom at the same time. As you can see in the pictures, we did things like go-kart and golf. And teaching Grandma how to flip the bird. We also performed a flying cat experiment by repeatedly throwing the cat into the air and trying to photograph her with a severely shutterlagged digital camera. Due to the severe shutterlag, it took many tries to get the picture we were going for. We didn’t do it often enough to get a nice centered shot, but you can still see the results.

Unfortunately, we were unable to photographically document all of the days hijinks (that’s a funny word because there’s three dotted letters in a row). We very nearly rolled that golf cart on multiple occasions. It also had a lot more power than you would have guessed, since we were able to drive it up some stairs. It was certainly a bumpy ride, though, since it knocked my phone and camera right out, causing them to bounce roughly on the ground. It probably contributed to the untimely death of my camera. It was a fun trip.

Posted by snaotheus in Photo updates, 2 comments

Pilotry

My plans for the day have been spoiled. I took actual vacation time so I wouldn’t have to work. Last night, Mom and I decided our plans for the day were to sleep late. In violation of both of those things, Ted called me at 7:30 with a work question. Not that this is particularly early, but much earlier than anything I would really consider late.

He interrupted a dream. Not a very coherent dream. I’ll tell you what I remember of it.

Mom and I were flying passenger planes. You know, the big airliner type. Mom, of course, was befuddled on how to do the simplest things (like turning or descending), and got exasperated. So I explained to her that it worked best if you did both at the same time. I proceeded to bank and turn to the left, descending quickly, which felt remarkably like falling.

Somehow, we landed. That’s the extent of Mom’s presence in the dream. I vaguely remember getting out of the airport the back way or something, and then kind of skulking around whatever suburb I was in (at least it seemed suburb-ish).

Eventually, I ran into KrisDi, or who should have been KrisDi, except she didn’t really trust me or seem like she knew me that well. That might have been because I might have broken into her house. I’m not sure. She was in the house with her parents and brothers and a plane. Apparently the airline had an adopt-a-plane program, where a family would take the plane home and take care of it. At KrisDi’s place, the plane had a giant climate-controlled wood-floored well-lit hangar with windows all around. They didn’t have a jumbo jet or anything, just one of the little puddle jumpers that seat 40 or 50, but it seemed exceedingly pleased with its surroundings.

There was some sort of conversation between me and KrisDi, but I don’t remember what it was any more. I blame Ted for rudely waking me at an inopportune time.

In other news, I watched a bunch of Oblivion videos. Oblivion is supposed to come out in a few weeks, unless they push back the release date again. I’ve already got wood in anticipation.

Posted by snaotheus in Dreams, 2 comments

Words of Mourning

Yesterday, I retired my travel toothpaste tube. I wrote a sonnet and a haiku about it, not knowing how to write an elegy.

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On My Tiny Tube of Toothpaste
by snaotheus

Valiant Colgate travel toothpaste tube
Thou wast a necessary toiletry
Refilling you often was a mess of goop
Ne’er once did you actually injure me

O woe, thy time has reached an early end
You’ve been replaced by a young, strong cousin
Your seams have cracked where they once would bend
Your station no longer can you defend

Poor Colgate, forsooth, the time has come
For of you to be written a poem this dumb

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Untitled Haikus
by snaotheus

Travel toothpaste tube
You served for thousands of miles
All over the world

Fresh Colgate Total
Off this mortal coil shuffled
Will we meet again?

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Posted by snaotheus, 6 comments

Ridiculously Hysterical

The title of this post refers to this. This guy wrote When I Grow Up, a hysterical comic. Coincidentally, he went to the same college as me. I figured this out when one of his comics had an OU shirt in it or something, and then I thought I’d email him to ask if he went to school there, and he had an @ou.edu address or something.

Anyway, I’m posting again tonight because I was a humongous fool. I forgot to mention the second coolest film I saw this glorious weekend-where-I-was-on-travel-but-not-working: Battle Royale. A Japanese movie (not anime) that is a serious contender for the “Most senselessly violent film in the history of senselessly violent films” award. The premise is that for some crazy reason, the Japanese government decides to pick one middle school class a year to put in free-for-all deathmatch. They’re all stuck on an island together and given three days to kill everyone, except one, who will be allowed to live if all the others are dead. If more than one is still alive after three days, all of them get killed. Throw in a sociopathic 7th grade teacher, and you’ve got filmic gold.

I also thought I’d share my odd dinner experience. After leaving Ben’s house, I discovered I was hungry, and figured I’d find something to eat. I get awfully sick of chain restaurants, eating out as often as I do, so I went to some local bar. It was very local. Everyone there knew everyone else by name. They recognized me as an outsider, of course, and even knew which car was mine, because it wasn’t one of theirs. It reminded me of home, even though I’ve never been to a bar there.

I ordered a Philly Cheese steak. The only employee there didn’t really have time to make it. The cook was out because his wife was in labor. So there’s only the bartender, who is actually pretty busy trying to serve drinks to all the drunks drinking on a Sunday night. Which was fine, since one of the customers made the sandwich for me. Which is fine, because he “used to work there.” No explanation. Was he fired for spitting in food? Wiping deodorant on them? Did he quit because he thought the kitchen conditions were inhospitable? Did he have some pathological aversion to preparing any food but Philly Cheese Steaks? Hard to tell. He was telling his bar companion that his medical history was so cumbersome he spent days scanning it so he could burn it to CDs to be given to doctors.

Posted by snaotheus, 6 comments

Buncha movies

Monocular Ben has been gracious enough to let me use his washer and dryer, as well as his wireless network, and his TV, and his bathroom, couch, and cinnamon buns. He was also generous enough to give me a table dance at a Dairy Queen and gave me my one dollar tip back.

He made me watch Two For the Money, practically against my will. It wasn’t as unpleasant as I thought. In fact, it was pretty engaging. Al Pacino did well. Not a whole lot to say about that one, though. It was pretty much what it sounds like. The explosion count was a depressingly zero.

Today, we watched Serenity. Aside from killing off characters that could have used a little more attention, and an energy bow and arrow that made no sense and had no place in the past, present, or future. But, the story finally reaches some kind of a conclusion, and you get more of all the characters you loved from the series.

The jewel of the weekend, however, has been Disaster Zone: Volcano in New York. It’s mere existence is enough for me. Ben blindsided me. I was sitting on his couch doing a Sudoku puzzle, and then he hit play (he had recorded it off the SciFi Channel). The title was enough to make me laugh harder than I can really explain. I cried and choked on my cinnamon bun.

I’m watching DZVNY right now. It’s awesome. I can’t wait for it to come out on DVD.

Posted by snaotheus in Reviews, 1 comment