Month: October 2011

Major daughter fail

Grandma has managed several times to lose the plastic tubing to her Amazing Ear Trumpet, so I picked up new materials yesterday, built myself one to keep in the car (I defy her to break or lose it from there!), and duct-taped the tubing to her funnel this a.m. I’m sure she’ll lose the whole thing, now, but what can you do? It’s enough to make you cut off your ear.

Her fingernails were just awful this a.m.—easily long enough to hurt herself (I’ve seen office women with l-o-n-g nails that were shorter than Grandma’s). So I got out the clippers to cut them, and managed to catch a bit of her finger in them. They’re a lot harder to use on someone else’s fingers than they are on your own! Poor dear howled at me, and bled all over herself. So I am officially a Bad Daughter, I guess. Sigh. At least I bandaged it all up thoroughly. 🙁

Miss Delighta and I had a marvelous time last week, babbling at each other and putzing about on the floor. She’s getting to be more and more fun to play with. Grandma tells me I sound like such a grandmother when I tell her about Delighta. So maybe I’ll just not tell her anything. So there. Criticize me for babbling about my granddaughter, will she? Hah! Only issue is that she managed to tear my right rotator cuff just a bit (Delighta, not Grandma), so I will have to be much more judicious about lifting her for a while. Oh, all right, she didn’t do it. She was just the proximal cause.

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More success, peaches!

After fixing the severely respiratorily distressed, nigh-unto-death vacuum cleaner, such that yea, it now sucketh a mighty wind, I got a little cocky about my mechanical skills. Thus, I tried to fix my dead shredder. Had to buy a special screwdriver to get the housing off, wrestled valiantly with it, etc. etc. It didn’t occur to me (until the proverbial too late) to take step-by-step disassembly photos, so even though I got everything cleaned out and functional again, I can’t deduce where to put what appears to be an essential pressure-type switch, so it won’t turn on. Oh, well.

So! To redeem myself in mine own eyes, I went by Hardware Sales today to pick up miscellaneous bits to put together an ear trumpet. Since Grandma can’t keep from destroying mechanical / battery-operated hearing-assistance devices, I thought going back a few centuries, technology-wise-speaking, might be a possible answer.

Ear trumpets were exactly what they sound (har har) like: a trumpet-shaped thing that old / deaf people held up to their ears to concentrate the sound into the ear and help isolate the speaker’s voice from the background noise. (I don’t know why the little girl’s head is deformed.)

$1.50 in parts later (plus a bit for the governor), I came home and stuck the bits together, cut a hole in the end of the soft rubbery green end-cap, and voila! Ear trumpet!

I shall take it to Auncient One first thing in the morning. Anybody want to start a pool as to how soon she’ll lose / break / destroy it?

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