And the expected tech frustration does not disappoint

Desk after D’s amazing kids put it together for me. There’s going to be a problem re mouse placemnt, but I can figure something out.

“You cannot hear me swear,” growled the Widow Dressing. “You cannot see the rage in my eyes. You cannot see the frustration, the fury, the anger, the lividity, the outrage, the wrath, the spleen, choler, or birse. Keep it that way if you know what’s good for you.”

The outraged woman had spent the afternoon setting up her computer on the new desk (new desk! She’d been so excited! Now it was just anticlimactic). Patiently, she’d threaded cables and cords through a cable hole in the top, so the wires would (but they didn’t) go nicely behind everything and not look like a rat’s nest.

She’d already compromised on the Crap Mouse because the Good Mouse, the ADA mouse for the crippled, was in its box but not in the box with the rest of the Essential Tech Stuff (it had been a few days ago). She’d already unplugged the extra USB port bank because its transformer wouldn’t fit. That was compromise enough.

She’d even moved the happy light to the desk (oh, the irony) and tried the laptop on the desk (it worked fine; at least it didn’t yap annoying shite at her about there being no networks. She could see 10 without even trying).

But then, then she couldn’t find the brand-new, still-in-the-box printer/scanner she’d been SO looking forward to trying out. NOWHERE. Every bloody box in the house was either a white banker box or a brown moving box. There was not ONE box ANYWHERE with colorful printing on the outside. Nor was it in the garage or the car. No other places existed where it could be.

Ever hopeful (gods only know why), she turned on the tower. Voila! The new monitor lit up and gave her the thumbs up. Thrilled, she clicked the browser button. And nothing. “Sorry, we can’t find that page!” for page after page after page.

Clicking the connection icon at the bottom, she waited for the list of available networks to appear. NOT ONE. NOT ONE STINKING ONE. NOT ONE. Stupid bloody Win10 just kept saying “sorry, sorry, you have to have an ethernet cable to connect. Maybe yours is broken?”

“Up YOURS before I break YOU,” she snarled, wishing she could give Micro$oft a kick inna fork. Hard. With a shovel. There was no reason whatsoever she could find that none of the 15 or 20 nearby networks should not show up.

Eventually, after trying everything she knew and getting nothing but M$ B$, she said some really, really, really bad words and walked away. She suspected it was the crappy connection she was getting 60% of but paying 100% for, and the house seller had flat-out lied when she said she had DSL, too, and her son had no trouble streaming back there. The only thing streaming at this point were tears of utter, complete, out-of-control rage.

Except that the wi-fi laptop worked fine. So what the ever-loving hell was going on?!

Posted by wordsmith

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